In Between

I think the most difficult thing about maintaining a relationship is the "in-between" time.

When things are bad, it's easy to put work into the relationship because you want to keep it (hopefully). And in cases when things are bad only for one person, it becomes a way of life to rely on the other member of the relationship to stay strong.

When things are good, it's like nothing can touch it. You live on cloud nine, and all seems right with the world. Thanksgiving, love, and cheerfulness all around!

But when things are "in-between," keeping up can be difficult. Things aren't particularly great, but they aren't bad either. They just kinda...are. I think that's when the fiber of any relationship is shown. If it falls apart then, it never really was to begin with.

This seems to be a huge and dangerous trap. Especially in a relationship with God. Let's be honest. More times than not, things are "in-between." I think it's really difficult for me personally to be always cheery about things. Obviously I am ridiculously blessed due to God's grace and am forever grateful and blown away by it, but that's hard to remember sometimes. (A slight unfortunate that comes from living in America, I think, but I won't get into that...) When sorrow strikes, isn't it always God to whom I go running?
But what about the days where the worse that happens is a hole in my rain boot?
What about the days that aren't filled with exciting adventures and findings?
I find myself sometimes being more thankful for the good, peaceful days. Like God decided to gift me with that today. That today, he is definitely working. So is he not the other days? Of course he is, it's just nothing hugely significant happened for me to recognize it.
And that's scary. Because that's not faith.

I've always said that if I can be silent with you, you are close to me. I'm good at talking. I can handle awkward talking situations and can make small talk, but I honestly don't desire to be that way. I much prefer to sit back and take things in. To think, and talk later. But there are only a very few people, 3 in fact, that I can be that way with. It means I am comfortable with you. I don't feel the need to keep up the facade so that you won't think something's wrong, or I'm weird and whatnot. And although those times are rare, they are the most precious to me. I can't explain how being able to say nothing makes me feel extremely close to people.
That's how I want my relationship with God to be.
So comfortable that I can be silent (figuratively speaking).
That I don't need things to either be really bad or really good to feel like there's something there.
Because I truly believe that God IS with me always, even when I don't recognize it. I truly believe that He wants me to be able to rest in Him, to be comfortable enough to be silent with him.

Granted every relationship takes work on BOTH sides, but the crazy thing is, He always works. Even when I haven't, didn't, and don't. He has, did, and does.
Makes the work a little more worth it, don't ya think?