my mind, heart, soul, and everything in between, has been consumed with thoughts of honduras lately.
it occurred to me that when people ask me why im going, i don't really have an answer.
because im not going to preach
im not going to americanize
im not going to save
and im not going to follow a plan.
i'm going to love and be loved
to experience the most un-distracted encounter with God i've ever known
i'm going because it makes sense
im going because it fits.
why is it that when i am sitting in my room in arkansas, i yearn for more of God, i shudder at the thought of a routine or complacent existence
but thinking about the gravity of the God i will meet in honduras makes me run to my covers?
i have never wanted to be a person that finds God somewhere else, but i don't think thats what this is about.
i think it's about the lack of control i will feel, the complete uncertainty of what my days will look like, not just when i think about it now, but also when i'm there.
and THAT is something i'm never ready to experience.
"search me, O God, and know my heart; test me, and know my anxious thoughts. point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life."