Money, Money, Money

I hate money.
It would be easy to blame the place I live, but that's not really fair I don't suppose.
Nashville is a big city. Full of big, important people who compete to always have the biggest, nicest things. Not necessarily the best, but it definitely has to be better than their neighbor.
I just spent a year at a school that not only costs an arm and a leg, but chocked full of rich people. Many who get large amounts of money put into their bank accounts regularly and buy $100 accessories. Yes, $100 for just. one. accessory.
Maybe this comes with being a college student. That's what I have heard anyway. But the stress over money is the worst stress I have ever felt in my entire life. Nothing seems to be enough. I had a job this past year, and granted I didn't get paid hardly anything, but it was still a job, supplying what I needed. Maybe that's what's causing all this stress now, the fact that I don't have a job in the near horizon, although not from not trying.
I'm not even sure why I need the money either. It's not just for kicks and giggles. It's not just so I can go shopping every week. It's for things that I don't know yet. For the future. For what might come. And that's scary, because to me, that's lacking faith. I pray and pray and attempt to constantly remind myself that God is the Provider of all things. And I KNOW this. I KNOW that He will not let me completely fail, but I also know that my parents cannot supply money to me. And sometimes, it's hard to remember the truth of God's provision when I'm the one giving money to my dad who works two jobs, seven days a week, just so we can barely get by.


Let me end by saying that I realize, now more than ever, the abundance of my blessings. I am in awe of how rich my life and my family's life has been. I have many friends, and know of many other people who are seriously struggling, and I have no idea how they do it. Let me also say that this is not meant to be a "woe is me" or complaint in any way. It is meant to be a sigh of frustration at how much emphasis is placed on money. And lastly, let me say that God is the God of the impossible and I trust in His unwavering support, guidance, and PROVISION.