Oh man.

Last night, about 1 in the morning, as I was laying in bed and sleep was far from me, I wept.

I suppose it really all started when I was thinking about this day today: Good Friday. I have never celebrated this day before, but I was lying there thinking about what it meant. About the sacrifice Jesus knowingly made for ME, and also for the entire world. For people who hated him, mocked him, and worst of all, who neglected him.

The more I thought about it, the harder it was for me to keep my composure. My heart literally hurt. It was the strangest thing. I couldn't catch my breath and I had to put my hand on my chest for fear that my heart might actually burst out of it. It wasn't long until the tears came, and came, and came. I was uncontrollably crying for HOW MUCH I don't deserve what He did and does for me. I was sick with how awful I treat him. How ashamed of him I sometimes act. How much I don't listen and how incredibly selfish I am. I would start to get it together, and then I would think about it again and lose it all over again. Once the tears eventually did stop, all I wanted to do was text everyone and tell them how amazing and wonderful My Savior is.

Please, please don't let this day end without falling on your knees in relentless thanksgiving and love for the one who SAVED YOUR LIFE and continues to save you every day. Without that sacrifice, NOTHING you or I do could be possible.


O Father hold me in your arms. Jesus hold my hand. I want to live and love you FOREVER.