Time

Welp I spent some quality time at Vandy today. They really should not make the walls brown. That is the awfulest color to make the walls of a HOSPITAL. So depressing.
And I would be totally fine if I never went back there again. (Besides this whole 2 month check-up thing)
So anyway, I was there to check and see if I have arthritis. To make a long and boring story short, I've had intense joint pain and swelling since January and something needed to be done. A trip to my personal doctor and 4 tubes of blood later, they told me nothing was wrong.
WHAT.
Something was definitely not right. So, that led me to a Rheumatologist at Vandy. About 2 hours later, the doctor told me it could be one of two things. One, it actually could be Rheumatoid arthritis, which basically means: give it a few months. If it's not better, that's what it is. But the pain wont ever go away.

Two, the one I'm hoping for, is side effects of 5th's Disease. My older sister had this when she was young. That's the thing, it's a disease you're only supposed to get in like kindergarten or 1st grade, and when you get it, you wont even know it. Kids don't get sick from it, and the only real sign is redness on the face. It goes away in a few days. But when adults get it, it acts like Rheumatoid. Swelling and pain in the joints. With kids, it's gone in a few days. With adults, it can take months and even a YEAR to get better. And since I work with precious little angels every day, it is very likely that I have come in contact with the disease multiple times. I just have to wait.

I'm going to Honduras this summer. It is a week before my church's church camp, which I have been asked to help with. I am already going down early to Honduras, but if I helped with church camp I would have to come home 4 days earlier than expected. I may get down there and be glad to leave early, but I also may really regret leaving. There is no way to tell. So as I buy my tickets, I basically just have to guess. Then wait.

I am making a very important decision right now, one that will affect a lot of the future. Although I have some good thoughts and ideas about this decision, I also have some bad ones. This isn't something anyone else can decide for me either. It's all me. And it's also something that I will never be sure about unless I do it. I have to wait and see.

Timing is everything isn't it?

God's been teaching me a whole lot about timing lately. In Deuteronomy, I'm told that He is the Rock and his ways are perfect. Ecclesiastes says that there is a time for everything, and God has made everything beautiful in its time. How does God's time work? Not like ours. Our life is just a breath to him. That's what makes it so difficult for us. God knows no boundaries. He is not contained by time. For us, we have deadlines, appointments, confines. And time is something we never seem to have enough of.

I have no real answer to this difficult trait of God. All I know is, it's important, and really difficult, to remember that God does not work like we work, and He will NOT be restricted the way we are. Luckily, one day we wont have these restrictions.
But until then...

"My times are in your hands..."
Psalm 31:15

Ecclesiastes 3:11-"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."



I found God today: but NOT in my time.