does anyone else get tired of trying?
i went running early yesterday morning for the sole reason of talking to God. i want to feel Him close to me to the point that He is undeniable. i want Him as the reason for all i do. the reason i decide to change majors, the reason i decide not to date a certain guy, the reason i live. and every day, yes, we talk. i come to Him with many things, both big and small, and i try to look to His word for refreshment, but it doesn't feel like it's enough.
i cannot convince myself that i was meant to live this way.
that although i speak to Him regularly and read what He wants me to know, my life is generally the same as everyone else around me, largely unnoticed as being different at all. i yearn for more. i wake up, knowing something is not right. i also know that it is not enough for me to just know something's not right, i have to do something about it.
but what?