When I Look to the Sky-Train

When it rains it pours and opens doors
And floods the floors we thought would always keep us safe and dry
And in the midst of sailing ships we sink our lips into the ones we love
That have to say goodbye

And as I float along this ocean
I can feel you like a notion that won't seem to let me go

Cause when I look to the sky something tells me you're here with me
And you make everything alright
And when I feel like I'm lost something tells me you're here with me
And I can always find my way when you are here.

And every word I didn't say that caught up in some busy day
And every dance on the kitchen floor we didn't have before
And every sunset that we'll miss I'll wrap them all up in a kiss
And pick you up in all of this when I sail away

Whether I am up or down or in or out or just plane overhead
Instead it just feels like it is impossible to fly
But with you I can spread my wings
to see me over everything that life may send me
When I am hoping it won't pass me by

And when I feel like there is no one that will ever know me
there you are to show me

Cause when I look to the sky something tells me you're here with me
And you make everything alright
And when I feel like I'm lost something tells me you're here with me
And I can always find my way when you are here.

Pots and Lights

I ran across something incredible tonight!

"...'My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.'" 2 Corinthians 12:9

"We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves." 2 Corinthians 4:7

So the first verse. I mean, what to say! Nothing really, except for that I have found it to be extremely true in my life. When I am weak, then I can be made strong. Perhaps because when I am "strong," I lose sight of Who I should be focusing on. Satan likes to tell me that I'm handling things on my own. He's not called the father of lies for nothin' (John 8:44). This pretty much ties in with the second verse. It made me smile out loud. Christ chose us WHILE WE WERE STILL SINNERS. Please sit and let this marinate for a second. You have to stir it around, otherwise it will stick to the pot. WHILE. WE. WERE. STILL. SINNERS. Ok, I am so glad that God is in charge of the world and not me. Because I guarantee you that if it were up to me on what to do with the people who were trying to kill me and hated me, the world would have been doomed. But in God's unfathomable graciousness, He saved us. While we were still sinners! Now, back to the verse (sorry about the rambling, it's late).

I love this verse because of its symbolism. "Fragile clay jars" reminds me of art class and my clumsiness. My high school art teacher would never let us put our clay pots into the kiln, with good reason, because of how fragile they were. When I read this verse, I imagine Light sitting in a pot. Maybe with a lid on it, maybe with a peep hole, but it's in there regardless of if the pot wants it or not. When I think of the word "fragile," I simultaneously think of the word "broken."

And the crazy thing is, the light in this pot can only fully shine through if it is broken.

And the crazy thing is, the Light in me can only fully shine through if I come to Him.

Broken.

If the shoe fits...

These are the newest ones I've done. The shoes themselves were $9 at Target.

The picture in the top left hand corner is the fronts (obviously). It says "Change," "Hope," and "Love" on the right shoe. The left is just a flower design. I will probably add more to that later. The top right hand picture shows the side of the right shoe. It says "You Must be the Change You Wish to See in the World." (one of my favorite quotes and on my ring :)) said by Ghandi. The bottom left hand corner is the right shoe again and it's just a rectangle with stars in it (actually on an Invisible Children t-shirt (another great organization to send money to)). And the bottom right hand picture is the left shoe with the flower.

.
These are the first ones I did. These were $7 at Walmart and it shows... They have torn up a little due to wear and just the fact that they were cheap.

Basically, the left shoe is a crazy tree design with squiggles on the side, and the right shoe is Isaiah 54:10

Comment on here or message me on facebook if you are interested in some shoes!

For those of you who don't know, I am selling shoes/art things under $15-$20 and giving the proceeds to kids who really need it/childrens bibles to hand out.

Thanks for your support and God bless!

Life.

Sometimes when I work out I listen to a podcast from a sermon from a community church in Atlanta. I always glean something useful from it, and tonight was no exception. The SAC is closed due to MLK day, and on the way back to the dorm to workout there, I had to run up to my room and write this first.

The guy (wish I knew his name...) talks about our "green space." That that is our place with God. Or place of rest. The one I listened to today said it seems we have a moving sidewalk AWAY from this space.
That we don't accidentally fall into worship.

Lately I have had some serious faith battles. Only one person shares my grief (thank God for him) with this, and it has been one of the hardest things to experience. To feel fully dead. Because when you are spiritually dead, there is no capacity for life from any other source. I was struggling with God's presence in my life, and as I've been getting better, this hit me.
We don't accidentally fall into worship. Meaning, when we want to be close to God we have to SEEK it out. Fervently and diligently. The thing I have had to learn, is that it is NOT because God is not there, or does not want us or seek us Himself. Rather, there is a fiery spiritual battle going on all around us for our souls. Satan will do anything he can to keep us from connecting with God.

Even go so far as making us doubt that He is even there.

Another thing I learned, intertwined with what Sir said (mostly his words), is that no one can be responsible for my inner sanctuary but me. I can outsource a lot of things: forgiveness, grace, love, etc. but I cannot outsource the responsibility of my connectedness, my sanctuary, with God. That alone is my responsibility. No one can keep the relationship strong for me. And in order to be able to outsource any of the previous things, I have to keep that sanctuary flowing.

The sink in my room, without fail, gets dirty and needs cleaning every week. It doesn't make sense! It's in its own little alcove, thereby protecting it from the essential dustiness and outside activity of the room. Yet, it is dirty.
My inner sanctuary is like that sink. As a Christian, I am set apart from the world automatically (Psalm 4:3, 1 Peter 2:9). But as a Christian living in this world, it is VITAL, a NECESSITY to my life, that I guard my heart above all else (Proverbs 4:23). Because even though I am in my own little alcove, I still get dirty from the outside.

"You love Him even though you have never seen Him. Though you do not see Him now, you trust Him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy. The reward for trusting Him will be the salvation of your souls."
1 Peter 1:8,9

Something I found later is something I almost hesitate to write. Because it is the most incredible thing EVER.

"...it leads us through the curtain into God's inner sanctuary. Jesus has already gone in there for us." Hebrews 6:19b, 20a

WHOA. Earlier, it talks about how because we have fled to Him for refuge, we can hold to the great confidence and hope that lies before us of even greater life than the one He gives us on this earth.
I'm not even sure I can find the words to explain the magnitude of that. We. WE, through Christ, enter into God's inner sanctuary when we flee to Him.
Nough said?

I AM ALIVE.

New!

New Semester.
New Classes.
New Books.
New People!
New Faces.
New Friends.
New Stories.
New Jokes.
New Information.
New Life.

God's Humor is so wonderful

Clarity

Undoubtedly, Winter is not, by any means, my favorite season. When I was young, my family fondly referred to me as "a little oven." That is, I was always hot, no matter where we were or what the temperature was. However, as I've gotten older, I can no longer retain the heat I did in my childhood (hah, I sound like an old woman). This, combined with a lack of winter clothes, icy roads, and illness due to drops of temperature make Winter an unfavored season.

Until today.

I suppose it actually started yesterday. As a dear friend was driving me around, I couldn't help but to look at the branches of the towering trees around me. Light, whipped cream like puffs of snow rested on these exposed branches. And it was truly beautiful. One of those moments where you take a picture in your mind and vow not to forget it. A moment I would have liked to paint. Not only that, but Winter holds a stillness unparalleled to anything else I've ever experienced. During the warmer, prettier seasons, people are outside, busy with their efforts to soak up the warm air. But during the winter, even the birds are quietly hidden from the brisk atmosphere.

Isaiah 30:15-

¹⁵ This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says:
“Only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved.
In quietness and confidence is your strength.
But you would have none of it." (NLT version)

I think often times I abhor quietness. I know that as soon as I get in the car, I'm looking for a good radio station, or song on my iPod. If it's quiet, I consider it "awkward." But the Sovereign says that in quietness is [our] strength! But [I] would have none of it.

Winter may now be my favorite season just because of this. The stillness that comes with the temperature change shows the inner heart of God. It exudes, radiates, the necessity of stillness in relation to God, in that ONLY in returning to Him and resting in Him
will
we
be
saved.

Incredible! May you find stillness in God today!

I Hate Pantyhose.

I loved church this morning.
Class started the morning as we discussed the issues with today's popular potato chips. 0 grams of trans fat? I think not. Made with real cheese? As opposed to...?
Once we were hungry and feeling quite unhealthy, we discussed the idea that maybe we relate more to potato chips than we realize.

How often is it that I come to church with this plastic idea of who I am? Hmmm, every Sunday? Not that I lead some secret Mafia life, or, unbeknownst to y'all, sell kittens in an underground scam downtown, but I'm never quite myself. I once heard that church was the last resort. The church was to be a place where sinners met together and helped each other, encouraged each other. That we are to go into all the world and preach there, and that is our number one goal. Not to put on our holiday pins and ballgowns and pretend that our life is perfect. How is anyone supposed to be comfortable with us when we look like people from The Stepford Wives?

How awesome, truly awesome, would it be if we could be real with each other? That for once, when someone asked how I'm doing, I could say "not so great" if that is the case, and receive condolences. That the mortar keeping the place together was nothing but love and compassion because we don't deserve it, but need it. That when someone feels God, truly feels Him during worship, we wouldn't look at that person as weird, or not right. How is that not right?

Instead, I put on my pantyhose (which I have always despised I might add) and say "I'm good, how are you?"

Revelation 3:16-22:
"¹⁶ But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth! ¹⁷ You say, ‘I am rich. I have everything I want. I don’t need a thing!’ And you don’t realize that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked. ¹⁸ So I advise you to buy gold from me—gold that has been purified by fire. Then you will be rich. Also buy white garments from me so you will not be shamed by your nakedness, and ointment for your eyes so you will be able to see. ¹⁹ I correct and discipline everyone I love. So be diligent and turn from your indifference.
²⁰ “Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends. ²¹ Those who are victorious will sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat with my Father on his throne.
²² “Anyone with ears to hear must listen to the Spirit and understand what he is saying to the churches.”

Christ was speaking to the CHURCH at Laodicea. His own chosen people were rejecting Him, yet they were Christians...

And Isn't it Ironic

I forgot God today.

Ok, obviously, or maybe not so obviously, I did not literally forget God. That would be impossible at this point. But I'll start by saying, I am a person of great detail. Not necessarily me as a person, although that may be true, but I love detail. To me, detail is thoughtfulness. In a painting, in a story, in a one's feelings for another, whatever it may be. And so I find, more times than not, that as I go throughout the day, God gets my attention through the smaller details. Maybe that's just me, maybe that's just His way of showing us that we, the INCREDIBLY lucky ones, have forgotten Him.

Why is it that my attention needs to be gotten?
Why would it be necessary for God to have to seek me out?
Because "I'm busy."

Let's think about my day. It consisted of: watching TV, playing with the dog, eating, drawing, going to see a movie. There are 24 hours in a day. Granted much of that is for sleeping, but I was not too busy today, nor any other day for that matter, to remember God.

He makes up every single fiber of my being. His touch is everywhere, in everything, and I'm "too busy?"
How sad for me.

So, may you this day (since it's 2AM thereby making it a new day) remember God in everything you do :)

2010...

Last night was great. I couldn't think of a better way to have spent it. Surrounded by old friends, new friends, and lots of food. I'm a lucky girl.

I can honestly say 2009 was a year FULL of growth, trials, devastation, and reconciliation. More so than any other year ever. Possibly combined. As I look back, hopefully for the last time this upcoming year, I am literally brought to tears thinking of how much God has done for me, and how selfish I have been. Really selfish. I hope to never be that way again. A New Year's Resolution? I don't know about that. As someone once told me, I have the attention span of a goldfish.

Today, so far, has consisted of trying to work out getting a passport. I'm dying to go on a mission trip of some kind soon. Hopefully by the time I am able to go I will have raised enough money to give to the people/kids there. I was going to go on a trip to Honduras with my church, but due to support issues I don't think we are going on that one anymore. Then, I was going to go through Freed, but the deadline and money for that trip is coming up really soon, and I have yet to finalize my passport... Hopefully something will happen soon.

Keep praying for my project. (Maybe I should come up with a name). I really hope that it will work out, and that I will be able to handle it all while feeling like people are getting what they want. So far, I have 4 pretty major projects in the works. It can get difficult, not necessarily because of the work, although that is a big factor sometimes, but because I am such a perfectionist. More times than not I am only able to draw for a short period of time, then I have to step away and come back with fresh eyes. Should probably work on that. However, I remind myself daily that it's not about me, it's about what we can do together for the kids who can do nothing for themselves.

Have a great day!