it's not enough to be a good person.
it's not enough to speak truth when no one else will.
it's not enough to wait, in anguish, for truth to be revealed.
it's not enough to know you're being the "bigger person."
it's not enough to be loving when they come back.

it's who you are good to.
it's how and why you are speaking that truth.
it's how spirit filled and selfless you are while waiting.
it's how humble you are.
it's how loving you are while they don't.


philippians 2.1-11
luke 6.32

in Luke 15, there is the all too famous story of the Prodigal Son. As the story has been told time and time again, most of the focus being on either the son, who is considered the prodigal here, or the older brother. But rarely has emphasis been put on the father. And it wasn't for me until last semester.

In case you haven't read it, there is this family consisting of 2 sons and a father. Neither son has a great relationship with his father. One, the older brother, sees his father as a task master, maybe feeling like he could never measure up. The other son, the prodigal in this story, kind of walks all over his dad. He's sick of it, doesn't really care about his dad, and says, I want my inheritance, see ya later. (As pointed out to me last semester, this is an unbelievable show of disrespect).
And the father lets him go.
We aren't told why the father and sons didn't have a good relationship. We aren't even really told they don't. But the actions of the sons, the nonstop work to please the father and the absolute rebellion against him, speaks for itself.
Eventually, the prodigal comes back. He realizes, only after losing all his money, pride, self-respect, and anyone to care for him, that he misses his father. That he loves his father. That that's the only place he needs to be. So he returns home, fully expecting to be a slave. In fact, he even told his father to make him such. He wasn't worthy.
But the Father runs to him. He sees him coming and all the time he has been anxiously awaiting his return has finally come to an end.

I am reading a book for bible study called, "He loves Me!" and in it, the author states about the father, "...waiting is far more difficult than prodding or nagging. But wait he did, for a marvelous thing to happen-to let the son come to his senses."

Many times in my life are designated as "waiting periods." I'm in one now. Often, it is seen most in times of suffering, or when a big decision needs to be made. But sometimes, God just needs you to wait. To wait and see what He is doing, what He has ALREADY done. And waiting truly is the hardest. For God, I think, as He watches us writhe around in anxiety, but mostly for us. It's not easy to wait. To relinquish every ounce of control, fear, uncertainty, and just to be still. But then you picture the inexpressible joy that comes from the image of the father RUNNING after the son, even though men of this time did not do this. And the son is welcomed back with jewels and robes and so much more love than he could have ever imagined.

Sometimes following in the footsteps of Jesus is hard. Almost blinded to everyone and everything around me besides Him, I just hold on for dear life.
And somewhere along the way, I trip over a rock and when I look down, even for that brief moment in time, I become acutely aware of everyone and everything I've had to leave behind.

"come, follow Me"
"And they left at once and followed Him."

There is absolutely no other life to be had. But it's not easy.
And when I feel frantic and start to drown from unbelief, I am pulled out of the pit and just carried for a little while. Just long enough to regain my footing.

"Quiet down before God, be prayerful before him." Psalm 37.7