The rest of the story becomes difficult to tell and make sense of. Partly because I'm living it out right now, and partly because I feel that I was broken. As a fragile clay jar (2 Corinthians 4), I was broken and God stepped in, filling me up and piecing me back together: the way He wants. I'm still being pieced together; hence, I'm telling His story. And since I am a human, I don't fully understand God's ways or God's story for me (Isaiah 55:8), making it difficult to tell!

Now that that's out of the way...

Christmas break was a huge turning point for me. I feel like I was at a fork in the road in SO many things, but specifically with God. I could either do it His way, or I could do it my way. But there could no longer be an in between. I was going to have to decide which way I felt was most beneficial. Given my track record, I think it was pretty obvious to me which way I needed to go. I've always had "problems" with turning my mind off sometimes, but now, it was like stepped up 15 levels. My mind went non-stop with thoughts about God. I guess the only way I know how to describe it is say you see something so unbelievably magnificent, so mind blowing for the first time. You see this incredible thing from which you are left speechless, but you only get a glimpse. Then, you are left to explore and desire to find out more. In many ways, it was as if I was seeing God for the first time. I began to go full-force, even making a mini business out of selling shoes for Christ. (hahaha). I still wasn't quite ready to come back to school, but I could not even recognize the person I was. It was like night and day. I had gained patience, willingness, strength, diligence, and HOPE.

I'm still on that road. EVERY DAY I find out more about God, and my only desire is to be with Him and for Him and love Him more and more every day.

I have written down very specific reasons as to why I am a Christian whenever I think about it, which I suppose I could put on here if you want, but I'm also a firm believer that everyone's story is different, and everyone needs to find that story. You're story won't match mine, and the reasons I am a Christian cannot be your reasons (some of them wouldn't even make sense for you anyway!)

The main thing is that you know why. The thing I'm growing to hate is when people do things or fight for things when they have no idea why they are doing that. Please know why. Take the time to search. Write it down if you need to. But please, don't go through life any longer not knowing why you are doing what you are doing.
And if you are not a Christian, I encourage you to search and piece your story together. Talk to me, talk to SOMEONE. I love you, and I want to be a part of you putting your story together