Quiet Mouse

I've been quiet this week. Generally, my mind never turns off. No kidding, I sometimes wake up with songs in my head with no idea how they got there. Most often, songs I haven't heard in a while. I'm always bombarded with thoughts, and if I don't write them down when I have them, they are gone. My mind moves onto something else.

But Sunday night was kind of a rough one for me. I was drenched by a wave of overwhelmingness. I had a moment of utter uncertainty and loss. More than that, I was just mad. Mad that I couldn't seem to get things together. I went to sleep that night with those feelings in my heart. I just sat there looking at God (figuratively speaking, obviously). All I knew to do was cut open my heart and expose all my fears and all the things I couldn't speak to the One who knows me already.

Monday morning brought peace. And that peace has continued all the way to today. When I woke up Monday, the tears that threatened to fall Sunday night were left behind. I didn't even have a headache. It's like working out really hard and the next day you kind of feel it. Your legs hurt from all the pressure they took, but the work out is over. I had a sense that something had happened, but my work out was over. I was quiet. I just knew that everything would be ok.

I still can't really get over it. I don't know how to put it into human words. Granted, no one around me probably even recognized a difference, but my soul felt rest. I've mentioned before the importance of silence to me. It was like I finally got a glimpse of that this week. Normally, I am always reading something or watching videos or talking to mentors about different spiritual stuff. But this week, I was able to just rest at the feet of Jesus. To just Be Still. and Know.
I don't know what will happen to me emotionally/spiritually once school is over. I have found God in so many ways that I hadn't before since I've been here, and it will be difficult to transition that into other places; even to my own home. I don't know what my future holds. I don't know what I will be doing with my life in even 1 year. But...everything will be ok.

I have read these words over and over since the first time I read them on Tuesday. I invite you to invite them into your heart. Don't just read, but believe.

"Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Hear me saying Peace, Be Still to your restless heart. No matter what happens, I will never leave or forsake you. Let this assurance soak into your mind and heart, until you overflow with Joy. Though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, you need not fear!"
-Jesus Calling

Overflow with Joy, indeed. How can anything be better?
Just love God today. Sit at his feet. I know that most days there is so much I want to say. But don't be afraid to just be quiet for a day. Don't feel pressured by humans to fulfill a certain "prayer requirement" or even a "scripture requirement". God wants you to just be still. Just rest. Just know.