My kids are awful. Like, when I say awful, I mean truly awful.

They hit, scream, lie, cry, and vandalize property. They listen to no discipline. We have sat in the gym, in silence, for up to 15 minutes before, simply because they do not, they will not, listen. Another form of discipline is turning off the lights. They know that when the lights go off, they are to freeze and stop talking. Even this has no affect on them anymore. They continue on in their conversations with complete disrespect to any and every one. My co-workers and I leave nearly every day with sore throats, in attempts to get their attention, headaches, and bad attitudes. My desire and excitement to go to work every day becomes more and more dim as the days go by.

And yet, they have taught me some of the most incredible, biggest, beneficial, important lessons of my 19 years on this earth. Although I do not generally go around physically screaming, hitting, lying, crying, or vandalizing property, I realize how my spiritual life has seen many days like this. Please don't ever, ever, think I would ever compare myself to the life of Jesus, because not only would that be hilariously incorrect, but it would be a complete and utter disgrace to who Jesus is. Although I strive to be more like Him every day, I am not there, and probably not even close. But with this experience, I have been able to look through the eyes of Christ. I know I've said this before, but I, we, are like those children. Yes, they are unruly. Yes, they are extremely difficult to handle. But every day I love them. I truly do love their whole entire little beings and want to hug and kiss them for who they CAN be, not necessarily who they are. Not only have I learned to look at them like this, but to look at every one in this way.

Christ chose us while we were like these children. There is one little boy who gets in trouble every day, without fail. He also happens to be the one who vandalized some lockers. He is known by all the workers as the boy who gets in trouble, and when he is sitting in time out, no one questions why. But when he comes up to me and says "Miss Allison, look at my new SillyBandz!" Anything else he did that day doesn't matter. Because I am reminded that he is still a child. He is still a precious soul who has every potential and dream in the world at his fingertips.

What if I chose to unmercifully yell at the kids? To just scream, and make them feel worthless and that their behavior is unacceptable and stupid. What good would that do? In my experience, kids don't learn that way. No one learns that way. They need love and care in order to want to change for you. If someone is yelling at me, it becomes very difficult for me to respect them. Treat me with respect, and I will treat you with the same.

I just love this whole messy thing. Because every day I wake up as a sinful human on this earth. If my place in the world beyond was determined by how I acted, I would have NO chance. And Jesus knows that, so He became the bridge for me to get to that place. So please, whoever reads this, don't ever think you don't have a chance. Jesus knows who you are, knows the mistake you have made, are making, and will make, and he LOVES you for it. It is only in our weakness that we can become strong, through HIM.

Me, and sometimes those kids, deserve a big shake and a good yelling at to straighten up. But He doesn't treat us like that because we are worth so much more than we can ever imagine to Him.

Sometimes I feel like my posts make no sense, haha. I just wake up or go through the day with these things on my heart and feel like getting it out. Because I haven't always thought it all the way through, I sometimes feel like it just gets thrown up on the page. Sorry. :) I hope you can follow what I try to say. Usually one point I wanted to make turns into something totally different... haha.