Let me know when you find that answer
The absolute most difficult thing to do in those circumstances is to believe, maybe through your own force, that God is working. Today in missions we talked about Deism. This is the belief that God created the world, but is now just sitting back and letting it "do its thing." That yes, he was interested in the beginning, but now he's kinda over it. My teacher suggested that this is how the world thinks today. It occurred to me that even for those of us who were raised in a church, this idea is really difficult to overcome. Because we live in a world that encourages individualism and survival of the fittest, relying and trusting in a God that we haven't physically seen is somewhat crazy. A great man of the Enlightenment Era, William Carey, lived by a slogan: "Expect great things from God, attempt great things for God."
Maybe the part that makes this whole thing so difficult is understanding. Personally, I don't want to commit my life to something, or Someone, that I feel is not personally involved. To me, that shows a lack of care, of thoughtfulness. But maybe the point I have always missed is that I am not going to understand it. There is a struggle with me every day. Every day, I seek to understand what God is doing. I know He's working, although some days I have to convince myself of this, but I don't understand it. And I long to understand, as we all do. But we are not meant to understand. Isaiah 55:8-"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts...my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine." Through all the tears, and anger, and endless struggling, the road still leads to the same place. The harder I try to understand, the less I do. Not because of unwillingness or ignorance, but because my ways are nothing like His.
The weird thing is, the struggle to understand only goes on because I want peace. Peace in circumstances, in why I do what I do, etc. But when I am beaten down and tired of trying to understand it all..
THAT is when I find peace.
I found God today in that: I will never understand Him.
Maybe the part that makes this whole thing so difficult is understanding. Personally, I don't want to commit my life to something, or Someone, that I feel is not personally involved. To me, that shows a lack of care, of thoughtfulness. But maybe the point I have always missed is that I am not going to understand it. There is a struggle with me every day. Every day, I seek to understand what God is doing. I know He's working, although some days I have to convince myself of this, but I don't understand it. And I long to understand, as we all do. But we are not meant to understand. Isaiah 55:8-"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts...my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine." Through all the tears, and anger, and endless struggling, the road still leads to the same place. The harder I try to understand, the less I do. Not because of unwillingness or ignorance, but because my ways are nothing like His.
The weird thing is, the struggle to understand only goes on because I want peace. Peace in circumstances, in why I do what I do, etc. But when I am beaten down and tired of trying to understand it all..
THAT is when I find peace.
I found God today in that: I will never understand Him.
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