"People sell themselves out for You. Wholly, completely, soul and all. They give themselves to a Being they've never ever known. Kids, thirteen years old, commit their whole lives to following you. They can't even drive. Of all the characteristics I know of You, Love is the most difficult to truly know. To remember. I have a really hard time making that fit. It's not hard to see you as powerful. It's not hard to imagine you creating everything. But what is STILL so hard for me to know is that You are present."

-prayer from this morning

I have literally seen myself being used lately. By God. It's like He's removing me from my actual life, allowing me to look AT rather than THROUGH, as I've said before. It's the weirdest experience. And suddenly, nothing makes any sense. I don't feel like I am in danger of leaving "Christianity (there really should be another word. I'm just not fond of that one lately)," rather, I fear I'm in danger of staying in something that I do not know the first thing about. Sometimes, I think it's necessary to be absent, to be silent for a time, in order to ever be present.
Wow. Sounds a lot like how God's looking right now...I just thought of that as I was typing.
Weird.


To be continued