The Journey, Part 10

"Jesus Calling" for February 24th:

Be still
in the Light of my Presence, while I communicate Love to you.
There is no force in the universe as powerful as my love.
You are constantly aware of limitations: your own and others'.
But there is no limit to my love; it fills all of space, time, and eternity.
Now you see through a glass , darkly, but someday you will see me face to face.
Then you will be able to experience fully how wide and long and high and deep is my love for you.
If you were to experience that now, you would be overwhelmed to the point of feeling crushed.
For now, the knowledge of my Presence is sufficient to carry you through each day.

I found God today in that: I am [still] learning to be still.

The Journey, Part 9

Short Message Today. Sometimes only a few words are needed.

Four Letter Words

When we think of
FOUR LETTER WORDS,
We think of
Curses
Epithets
Expletives.
All those are bad,
Uncomfortable things.

In my mind the two worst are
Can't,
Won't.

But other words have four letters.
How about
Good,
Fine,
Nice,
Best,
Amen

One with many good uses is
Help.
A cry for assistance
The response to a need
A most effective prayer.

But when you come right down to it,
As in the Bible,
The greatest of these too, is
Love

W.K. Sloan
June 12, 2000

In missions today we read this prayer. We were told to circle the word "Love," and then circle another word that stood out to us. I chose the word "Help." Then, we were to say "Love" on our in-breath, and the other word breathing out. That no matter what word we chose, Love covered it up.

Love...Help...Love...Help...

When I first started saying it, "Love" felt warm and inviting. "Help" seemed more of a scream filled with uncertainty and loss. As a few moments past, "Help" calmed down a little bit and "Love" seemed louder. Then, as in one of those "aha" moments, "Love" and "Help" melted together. "Love Help."

Love...Help...Love...Help...Love Help.

This is so critical for me. If you know me at all, you understand my loathing of receiving help in any area of my life. I don't like to quit, I like to do things on my own. I'm stubborn. But I was told to "Love Help." To show emotion. Cry when you're sad, Smile when you're happy; Love Help.



I found God today in that: Love Help.

The Journey, Part 8

Man, I am tired.

I had a discussion with a friend today about how spoiled we are.
I attend Lipscomb University. A place where they find it no big deal to drop $300 on chairs in Arlo's...a piece. Tuition is through the roof, and is getting higher. The buildings are new, the computers are new, we have a Blue Coast, Chik-fil-A, Starbucks, and while it snowed, they bought PURPLE salt to cover the ground we walked on. Not just the normal salt. Purple. Because that is a school color.
I know that if I sat and listed all the ways I am spoiled as an American it would be not only boring, but endless. Besides, my wrists would start hurting and that's just obnoxious. You already know what they are, anyway.

I visited some friends last week and went to a meeting for a trip I am going on. The leader of the trip got to talking about the particular building we were meeting in. How new it was, how nice it was, and how blessed they were to have it. And as ashamed as I am to say it, all I could think about was how every building at Lipscomb is this way, no big deal. I was later appalled by my behavior. Yes, that may be the case, but how grateful am I for it?
I go to school on one of the nicest campuses I know of, and yet my friends and I will sit and complain about parking. Or how the food isn't quite like we want when we have SO MANY options to pick from! And yet my dear friends rejoiced at the marvelous and wonderful building God had blessed them with, a lesson I quickly need to learn. I am embarrassed to even confess my sin of arrogance in this case.

I guess it would be silly to say stop and think about how blessed you are. Not silly in the idea, but silly to express that to people who hear it all the time from churches. I don't think I really do unless an instance like this happens. It is a little cliche, although incredibly true, to relate our wealth with the wealth of other countries, but I think it is more beneficial to relate my wealth, your wealth, with people that are all around me. There are people ten minutes down the road living on $2 a day. That means 3 meals a day for them and most likely other little mouths to feed. My "Little" gave me a porcelain doll from the Dollar Store for Christmas, something she probably cherished when it was gifted to her, because it was most likely the nicest thing she had ever owned. And she felt that she had to give me something incredible in order for me to be happy. Is that the message I as a mentor, as an American, as a child of God am sending off? That in order to be on my level, on our level, people have to raise to a ridiculous and impossible height?

I can't ignore the cries of those who would die to have even half of what I do. I am so spoiled and blessed beyond anything I deserve


I found God today in that: He has spoiled me as His child so I in turn can spoil others.

The Journey, Part 7

I think a question I have wrestled with for a long time is why we, and by "we" I mean religious people, aren't united. Why are there so many different denominations of churches? It has never made sense to me, and still doesn't. I guess the excuse is everyone's beliefs are different and that's why there are so many different churches. But why? Why must their beliefs be different? It doesn't make sense, and I don't think there really is a reason for it. Maybe an excuse, but not a reason.

I heard a story about a gathering in which Max Lucado spoke. Over several thousand were in attendance, and he asked him one original question. He asked that, on the count of three, they would all yell out the name of the church they went to, or what denomination they were a part of. Once "three" was spoken, it was utter chaos. No one could have made out any particular name amongst the mass. Then, he asked them to yell out the name of the One they would die for and the One they had committed their lives to. Again, "one, two, three," and all that was heard: Jesus.

So why are all these other denominations necessary? Why is it that something that should be so simple is so difficult? I really think it's because each denomination has pride. People are so set on the fact that "they are right, and those people are wrong" that they can't see the plank in their own eye. What makes you right? I can feel the fire in my finger tips as I try not to spout off words of impatience here. Don't get me wrong, I am guilty, but nothing makes me more angry than people who do more harm than good in their "spreading of the gospel" because of a lack of understanding. If we stopped for 2 seconds, we would find that we may have more in common with those of other religions than we think.

With this said, I realize that the childlike notion of "simply" following the bible and letting that be enough is not possible. I have often thought that if people would just do what the bible says and recognize Jesus as their only life, all of this division would go away. Well, that's wishful thinking. Because no one reads a sentence the same. I guess the real thing I'm getting at is just wishing people would stop and love and recognize their own faults before criticizing others. People of every denomination. Because the truth of the matter is, God cannot be contained in the neat box we put Him in. Paul tells us that the word of God cannot be chained! Jesus ate with tax collectors. He hung out with the drunkards, those that lied, cheated, stole, had sex, committed adultery, and those that would kill him. How can we be Jesus to people if we are SO caught up in what they are doing wrong? We can't.



I found God today in that: He wants us to all be united in Him.
"The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ."
1 Corinthians 12:12

The Journey, Part 6

"Lord, this time I'll make it right, here at the altar I lay my life
Your kingdom come but my will was done, my heart is broken as I...

Cry, like so many times before
But my eyes are dry before I leave the floor, oh Lord
I try but this time, Jesus, how can I be sure I will not lose my follow through
Between the altar and the door

I'm trying so hard to stop trying so hard
Just let You be who You are
Lord, who You are in me
Jesus, I'm trying so hard to stop trying so hard
Just let You be who You are
Lord, who You are in me"

"The Alter and the Door"
-Casting Crowns



I found God today in that: I'm trying so hard to stop trying so hard. I need to "just let you (God) be who you are" in me.

On a Side Note...

Me-"Keylahni, come here! Which color do you want to be? This way, even when we can't be together, we are together because you are on my bracelet." (showing her my bracelet consisting of 3 different strands of colors-purple, pink, and white-interwoven together).

Keylahni-thinking for a while..."Well, I wanna be the pink and the purple. That way, I can be whatever you are. I wanna be whatever you are."



It's days like this that make it all worth while.

The Journey, Part 5

What do you do when doubt begins to seep into your life? When you doubt not only the people around you, but your own intentions and plans for the future. When the things you "knew" you were going to do suddenly seem waaaay too hairy and complicated for you to handle?

Let me know when you find that answer

The absolute most difficult thing to do in those circumstances is to believe, maybe through your own force, that God is working. Today in missions we talked about Deism. This is the belief that God created the world, but is now just sitting back and letting it "do its thing." That yes, he was interested in the beginning, but now he's kinda over it. My teacher suggested that this is how the world thinks today. It occurred to me that even for those of us who were raised in a church, this idea is really difficult to overcome. Because we live in a world that encourages individualism and survival of the fittest, relying and trusting in a God that we haven't physically seen is somewhat crazy. A great man of the Enlightenment Era, William Carey, lived by a slogan: "Expect great things from God, attempt great things for God."

Maybe the part that makes this whole thing so difficult is understanding. Personally, I don't want to commit my life to something, or Someone, that I feel is not personally involved. To me, that shows a lack of care, of thoughtfulness. But maybe the point I have always missed is that I am not going to understand it. There is a struggle with me every day. Every day, I seek to understand what God is doing. I know He's working, although some days I have to convince myself of this, but I don't understand it. And I long to understand, as we all do. But we are not meant to understand. Isaiah 55:8-"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts...my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine." Through all the tears, and anger, and endless struggling, the road still leads to the same place. The harder I try to understand, the less I do. Not because of unwillingness or ignorance, but because my ways are nothing like His.
The weird thing is, the struggle to understand only goes on because I want peace. Peace in circumstances, in why I do what I do, etc. But when I am beaten down and tired of trying to understand it all..
THAT is when I find peace.

I found God today in that: I will never understand Him.