i walk up the three flights of stairs to third floor Kendall, mind racing, heart beating slow. suddenly my eyes fixate on a bike pump laying haphazardly on a stair of my journey...

i look up from my cool seat on the bodega floor: dirty, sweaty, and so full of joy i might explode. we have been pumping these bike wheels for what seems like forever and they are still flat! i look around me, room filled with bikes and people attending to them, barely able to wait for the moment we will give these to our kids. only imaging the elation that will cover their faces.

sitting at the red light on the corner of main and some other street that i don't care about, my head is hurting, but it cannot even enter the competition with my heart. "thank you for loving Kevin." behind me, someone's music is blaring...

i lazily sit in this yellow chair, wishing this could go on forever. sitting at house number 1, i am waiting for a task to do, but more eagerly waiting for the kids to get out of school. from inside the house, i hear the blaring songs of Akon and the Black Eyed Peas, chuckling to myself and allowing the angelic voices of those singing along to soothe me into rest.

today, it will be ok. ipod playing music that i love, laundry in the washer, watercolors awaiting me in my bag. today, i will be ok. i desire coffee, i desire anything that makes me feel normal. pouring the grounds into the machine, i pray that it will be a strong cup...

"un cafe, por favor." the beautiful lady behind the counter hands me a saucer and white cup filled with dark brown coffee, matching the depth behind her eyes. i sprinkle non-dairy, powdered creamer, which i don't even like, along with big grains of caramel colored sugar into the cup, watching it sink to the bottom and disappear. slowly, confidently, i lift the coffee to my lips and drink. it may be the best coffee i have had in my entire life.