Life.

Sometimes when I work out I listen to a podcast from a sermon from a community church in Atlanta. I always glean something useful from it, and tonight was no exception. The SAC is closed due to MLK day, and on the way back to the dorm to workout there, I had to run up to my room and write this first.

The guy (wish I knew his name...) talks about our "green space." That that is our place with God. Or place of rest. The one I listened to today said it seems we have a moving sidewalk AWAY from this space.
That we don't accidentally fall into worship.

Lately I have had some serious faith battles. Only one person shares my grief (thank God for him) with this, and it has been one of the hardest things to experience. To feel fully dead. Because when you are spiritually dead, there is no capacity for life from any other source. I was struggling with God's presence in my life, and as I've been getting better, this hit me.
We don't accidentally fall into worship. Meaning, when we want to be close to God we have to SEEK it out. Fervently and diligently. The thing I have had to learn, is that it is NOT because God is not there, or does not want us or seek us Himself. Rather, there is a fiery spiritual battle going on all around us for our souls. Satan will do anything he can to keep us from connecting with God.

Even go so far as making us doubt that He is even there.

Another thing I learned, intertwined with what Sir said (mostly his words), is that no one can be responsible for my inner sanctuary but me. I can outsource a lot of things: forgiveness, grace, love, etc. but I cannot outsource the responsibility of my connectedness, my sanctuary, with God. That alone is my responsibility. No one can keep the relationship strong for me. And in order to be able to outsource any of the previous things, I have to keep that sanctuary flowing.

The sink in my room, without fail, gets dirty and needs cleaning every week. It doesn't make sense! It's in its own little alcove, thereby protecting it from the essential dustiness and outside activity of the room. Yet, it is dirty.
My inner sanctuary is like that sink. As a Christian, I am set apart from the world automatically (Psalm 4:3, 1 Peter 2:9). But as a Christian living in this world, it is VITAL, a NECESSITY to my life, that I guard my heart above all else (Proverbs 4:23). Because even though I am in my own little alcove, I still get dirty from the outside.

"You love Him even though you have never seen Him. Though you do not see Him now, you trust Him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy. The reward for trusting Him will be the salvation of your souls."
1 Peter 1:8,9

Something I found later is something I almost hesitate to write. Because it is the most incredible thing EVER.

"...it leads us through the curtain into God's inner sanctuary. Jesus has already gone in there for us." Hebrews 6:19b, 20a

WHOA. Earlier, it talks about how because we have fled to Him for refuge, we can hold to the great confidence and hope that lies before us of even greater life than the one He gives us on this earth.
I'm not even sure I can find the words to explain the magnitude of that. We. WE, through Christ, enter into God's inner sanctuary when we flee to Him.
Nough said?

I AM ALIVE.